Dear Girls, if you could read this, what would I write?

Today’s prompt was to write with my dream reader in mind. No offense, but I write THIS blog mostly just to write (my design blogs have very specific readers in mind), but there are two very special people I hope will read these posts one day, especially if something happens to me.

This post is focused on two beautiful, mischievous girls at the very beginning of their reading lessons.

You are as different from each-other as can be, yet I could not possibly love either of you more. You have taught me more about myself than anything before your conception! You have shown me God’s blessings and miracles, but also my complete and utter weakness & dependence upon Him day by day, hour by hour, even minute by minute (sometimes second by second). You complete me in a way I never knew I needed, because I never knew I was so utterly broken.

Together we learn to learn from our mistakes. To pick ourselves up, forgive ourselves & throw ourselves upon Christ’s mercy & grace to be renewed & strengthened, transformed into the people we want to become. Together we learn to apologise to each other & to our awesome Creator & Sustainer.

When darkness starts to crowd my soul, your songs, A, lift my heart. Your words & tune, from your heart to mine.
“I am not unsaved, I am not unsaved. Oh, no! I am definitely saved! Jesus is with me.”
You may only be 3, but when I hear you making up songs like this while you play, my heart rejoices more than to the greatest composers and musicians.

R, your help and dedication when I prepare my Sunday school lessons; earnestly ensuring that everything is perfect even when I say it doesn’t matter, shows how you respect the church and my teaching. I find that encouraging when I am tempted to exhaustion, or sloppiness regarding my ministries. It reminds me of their importance and my need to lean on God for sustenance.

Thank you for understanding when I was too busy preparing to serve to make your lunch, I know it was only once, but your peanut butter, OXO & cheese sandwiches were a wonderful idea given that everyone wanted something different with their cheese. I’m not sure how you ate them, but my heart sang to see you solve your disagreement and work together to make us lunch.

I love the way you play so well together despite your differences, and how well you balance each other out. How at a party, one will encourage play and the other food, so that both happen. How you can have quiet tea parties that turn into wild pirate wars because you adapt to each other’s desires and needs. I even love how you always raid each other’s clothes, finding bizarrely creative ways to wear clothes never meant for your shape, size, colouring, activity level etc…

And I love how, even after a day of tantrums & telling me how you’ll never love me again because i’ve “ruined” your plans, you still want my hugs & kisses at bed time, & never get tired of hearing how much i love you (even when you say you are).

I love you!
But there is one who loves you more.
One who I can never live up to.
My unconditional love, will always be conditional compared to His.
My sacrifices, nothing but warped selfishness compared to His.

Psalm 22:14-18 (ESV)
14 I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast;
15 my strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws; you lay me in the dust of death.
16 For dogs encompass me; a company of evildoers encircles me; they have pierced my hands and feet-
17 I can count all my bones- they stare and gloat over me;
18 they divide my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.

Luke 24 tells us that Christ is risen from the dead. He is risen to save you from your yourself, because, regardless of what you want to believe, we cannot save ourselves. We cannot undo so much as one sin.

As a child you understand now that you cannot save yourself, just like the smaller children in my class have no trouble understanding, but this is something grown ups are very silly about. As you grow older, do not fall into the trap of thinking that you can become great enough to save yourself. You can never become god. The is only one God. Turn to Him & accept His gracious gift of mercy, love & forgiveness. His way for you is like following the design manual, it is better for you; but even if you are not great at follow His way, you can still get to Him.

The Bible is a manual not a map, heaven is reached though Christ’s death & resurrection, not your perfection!

Isaiah 53 (ESV)
1 Who has believed what he has heard from us? And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
2 For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned-every one-to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people?
9 And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.

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