That blinding moment as I pass the window, when I realise that I may be upright, busy & keeping my breakfast down, but that yesterday’s migraine that had me whimpering & sobbing in pain has not yet left me. Needless to say, the day was another right off (except for my Sunday School class which the Lord always allows me to teach pain free regardless).
The next day I am quite keen to get on with thing, having lost 2 whole days already.
I confidently stride into the mall to buy groceries, a little miffed at myself for taking so long to get ready, but prepared to forgive myself & make up the time. Upon the third strange glance I realise I’m still wearing my sunglasses so I nonchalantly take them off (after all, I was more or less fine back home…). I gasp & quickly scrabbly to get them back on before my legs in agony like when I tried to walk to hospital while crowning with my first child. Once I feel the coolth envelope my eyes, I let go of the glasses & reach up for the edge of the nearest trolley before I hit the floor. Whoa, lets not try that one again!
I’d forgotten how unforgiving fluorescents can be. I focus on breathing for a few minutes before finding the trolley handle for support. Another deep breath & a prayer & I strut confidently (leaning heavily on the handle for support until my legs can recover). Every noise, smell and texture heightened to almost the same pain levels as the light had been, but now I’m expecting it. And the strange looks and comments? Those who know me, should understand. Those who want to know me, should have the decency to ask if it bothers them; and the rest… Whatever.
The only exception I made was when I needed to ask a favor of an assistant I don’t know in the butchery, I thought I’d get better service if I wasn’t wearing glasses chosen specifically for maximum coverage… I did however think that a few of the security guards payed me far more attention than usual. They might not have recognised me in what my husband teasingly calls my celeb get-up (no make up & over sized sun glasses indoors).
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (ESV)
7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.
8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I am nowhere near Paul’s greatness, but I too have a thorn that leaves me utterly weak; reminding me that my Lord’s grace is sufficient. I need only to remember it & cling to Him.