This evening my husband came home, put his arms round me & asked howvmy day was. I nearly burst into tears, but I could not think of one particular thing to make me feal so utterly washed out, so I answered as honestly as I could “Not really particularly bad, but I don’t really want to relive it ever again.” He was puzzled, and quite frankly, I don’t blaim him.
When he pointed out that I had sounded up beat when I had called earlier to explain why the school had phoned him about me being 30min late to fetch my eldest (my record!), & I explained that I have to remsin upbeat when I have the kids with me. Still, I’m not sure even working moms would understand that, cause its got to do with the dynamic needed to carry two testy kids through a whole day… The worse the day, the more possitive the mum needs to be.
But I think the day pretty much summed itself up for me when my husband took the kids off for their bath & suddenly exclaimed loudly. He had just discovered that our youngest had gone to school with her pajamas under her other clothes.
No surprise to me! I had decided early in the day that I was going to have to choose my battles carefully. Better for her to get to school with her pajamas underneath, than for her not to get to school at all.
I had managed to tick all the day’s boxes, not always on time, but everything got done. And everything that was done in public or in the presence of my children was done as cheerfully as I could muster. But looking back over the day, my big flaw today was what remained underneath…
<blockquote>Ephesians 6:14-18a (ESV)
14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,
15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.
16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;
17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,
18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.</blockquote>
I had forgotten to take off my metaphorical pajamas before dressing for my my day of motherhood. I started the day with an extra 30 minutes of sleep rather than 30 minutes of time with God… My average day consists of almost constant prayer, often not even maintaining the traditional formalities, but simply including my pleas & thanks throughout every aspect of the day. What to say, how to react, where to park, to stay calm, for strength & perseverance, for patience, for wisdom in yet another peace-keeping mission… etc. etc. etc. Today I started mostly in my own strength, & I have ended it in my own utter exhaustion!
As I prepare for bed, my ‘spiritual attire’ must look rather entertaining. Pajamas with bits of ‘armour’ haphazardly strapped on over as and when I got a chance in the mad dash of motherhood’s schedule.
We have all survived. Just. But I do NOT want to repeat today!
Tomorrow let me have the wisdom to walk with God’s strength rather than my own.
<blockquote>Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)
6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.</blockquote>