This weekend has been an extremely emotional one for me. We traveled to celebrate the dedication of a loved one’s baby, and stayed with family. I got to see about 40+ old friends, family & people connected to them in 28hrs…
In that time I was not only able to meet the new wives, husbands & babies who had arrived on the scene since our last meeting, but I was also caught up on the other, less pleasant news.
Its hard to process this ‘other’ news while celebrating new life so intensely, and in such a short time span. The event itself seems almost to create a protective wrapping that somehow softens the blow when I learn about the ‘cousin’ with stage 4 cancer, the kindergarten friend who was murdered… Yet part of me still mourns even then, how can you not. And returning home from it is like being dumped into a horrid cesspit of the brokenness around me.
My heart is broken; ripped, smashed wide open into a million bleeding, throbbing pieces. But I know that the reality of broken heartedness is not what it seems. Each piece is actually more like a pomegranate pip, and has the potential to grow into a beautiful fruit-bearing plant if it is only planted in Christ; handed over to God & not hoarded.
I have done this before, and seen the fruit. Much of the new life I celebrate now, is born in some part from old tragedy. Lord, please give me the strength and faith to plant my broken heart in you, so that I can see your love and life even in them; and may celebrate life in you again as we did this weekend.
Psalm 30:1-5 (ESV)
1 I will extol you, O LORD, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
2 O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.
3 O LORD, you have brought up my soul from Sheol; you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.
4 Sing praises to the LORD, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name.
5 For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
Psalm 30:11&12 (ESV)
11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
12 that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!