Yesterday afternoon I was asked a simple question in a survey, “what was the last thing you read?”
The answer was a bit of a shock to my system.
I thought back through everything I had read in the past 24hrs, and apart from email, social media, the internet & my Bible readings, I had read a large pile of children’s books, many of them twice. Not a great admission for a mum who LOVES books! And my usual excuse that I often choose to write rather than read didn’t hold this time. I simply haven’t managed to tackle the growing pile of writing material on my desk…
I was so shocked that I reached for an Agatha Christie as soon as the kids were down for the night. 3 hours later, I realised why I’ve been reading Arthur Conon Doyle’s short stories when I’ve had time the last few years. It was past my bed time & I had done NONE of my evening chores, hadn’t spoken to my husband, read the Bible etc. and my mind was racing because the mystery was still unresolved. Then came the morning… And I slept through both alarms, my kids noise, & was eventually woken by my husband who usually get woken by ME about an hour into my day. It was nice to get coffee in bed for a change, but the consequences on a school/work day are not really worth it, especially when I’m already behind with my evening prep.
I want to read for ME, and it hurts my pride to admit that I haven’t been able to do so; but as a mother, my family need me, and my time and priorities should be less selfish & proud. Should be, but sometimes I stumble & fall. I am going to have to pace myself for the rest of the book… Restricting myself to one chapter a day only! I know it will be hard, but even so, I’ll probably have plenty of opportunities to practice my apologies for things left undone. I should probably put is aside completely, but i am not THAT strong as yet.
Proverbs 31:27-31 (ESV)
27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
I ate the bread of idleness last night. I succumbed to the western ideas of ‘me-time’ & recreation. I am paying for it today, and so are my household.
I must be careful or I’ll loose all hope of praise as I near the end.
I need to keep my eye on the prize: what will the people closest to me say about me, & what will the all-seeing God have to say?
Surveys etc do not matter compared to those who see me all the time! They know the true me, not what I choose to reveal, and that is the ME that counts.
(Thanks to my amazing husband, my daughters should only have been 5 min late for school.)